Monday, December 19, 2011

That Chapter in my book about Los Angeles: Done

Today is my last day at the internship. It is also the last night I will spend in my apartment. It is also my last full day in Los Angeles, California. Tomorrow I'm moving all my stuff out to Riverside, California, where my grandma lives, and from there I'll be flying to Virginia.

I cannot begin to explain how excited I am to be going home. I love Los Angeles with all my heart, but I haven't been back on the east coast in almost exactly a year. I haven't missed it all that much until the past 2 weeks or so, and now I'm literally counting down the hours until I'm back in Virginia with my family.

Last night I took a drive around Los Angeles to most of my favorite parts--a sort of "coming full circle" type of thing, if you will. I drove up La Brea, which I've walked up and down at least 100 times since I've been here (and I love it). I rode the bus down Wilshire, which is my second favorite street on account of the museums, my old internship, and the shopping. I got to go down Santa Monica Blvd, which is NUTS anytime after 8 pm. And I got to go up by Chateau Marmont (and one other place that shall remain nameless), which I've wanted to do ever since I got to Los Angeles. While I was driving I kept trying to make myself feel all those things you're supposed to feel when you know you're leaving some place, but it wasn't happening. I know I was meant to live in Los Angeles these past few months, but I also know that now is the right time for me to be leaving.

So, the Things I'll Miss About Los Angeles List:

1. OddLot Entertainment.

This place has been my home more than Los Angeles has. I started working here on August 29th of this year, and I've been here ever since. The people are great, and I love all the work I've been able to do, including being a part of the Drive hype and seeing all my coworkers names in the credits. I've also loved getting to work with my fellow interns, whom I already miss: Matt Fox, Megan Ritchie, Geoff Peel, Will Ferrer (Oh Will…), Tim Unger, Adam Peters, Sarah Rotella, Grace, and Ana Liza. I already miss them terribly. I'll miss everything about this place: the terrible scripts, the weekend read meetings, James' opinions during the weekend read meetings, the free Diet Coke, the free lunch, meeting Gigi Pritzker, meeting Gavin Hood, making directors/actors lists, taking lunch orders. The list goes on.

2. Culver City

Again, not exactly part of Los Angeles, but I've loved this place. It's the perfectest little borough of a city you ever did see. I wouldn't mind living there. Jay kay, I probably wouldn't want to live there. Actually, I dunno. Maybe. We'll see.

3. Runyon Canyon

I'm sure I've raved about Runyon on here before. I love, love, love this place. Every great piece of news I've gotten in Los Angeles, I've gotten while hiking Runyon Canyon. True story. I found out about both my internships on Runyon, met roughly 10 different celebrities on Runyon, found out about my apartment while on Runyon, etc. Plus, it's the quietest place in California, and it reminds me a lot of Idaho, which is always a good thing. And the views are incredible, wherever you choose to look.

4. La Brea Avenue

I love this street.

5. The weather

I haven't been cold once since I've been here. Not ONCE.

6. The buses

This one could go either way. The bus and I have had some good times and some not so good times together. I hated the 2 hours commute to church, but I loved the people watching. I hated that it automatically cost me money to go anywhere I didn't feel like walking to, but I loved the motivation to walk around the city. I hated the fact that I had to have exact change on me everywhere I went, but I loved the overwhelming feeling of satisfaction when I could put a dollar $1.50 together using every last coin in my room. I also loved the drivers. Little known fact- there are 4 or 5 bus drivers in Los Angeles that are quite possibly the nicest people in the world. One drives the Big Blue Bus: Route 12 in Westwood. He drove me to and from work every day I didn't choose to walk.

7. Glendora

This isn't actually part of Los Angeles, but ever since Jeff took us to his hometown, I've been in love with the place. It's the coolest town in all of Southern California. I've had a lot of good times there, driving up the GMR; going to Donutman with Mary Alice, Lars, Caleb, and Jeff; visiting the Lindstroms on many an occasion; staying at Jeff's grandma's house; seeing all of Glendora's crazy graveyards and historic trees. I'm gonna miss you, Glendora.

8. Being in places I shouldn't be

I'm probably gonna sound like an ignorant fool by saying this, but I never got why Los Angeles has such a bad rap. In my five months of living here, I only ever felt threatened once. And it's not like I didn't give people plenty of opportunities to kidnap/rape me. I was actually kind of asking for it. I went out running at 10 and 11 o clock at night and hung out in the city even later than that. Overall, my time spent walking around LA late at night will probably end up being some of my favorite while in LA.

9. Knowing I live in Los Angeles.

This is admittedly a vanity thing. I love telling people that I live in Los Angeles. I'm pretty proud of myself for getting up the guts to move out here right after graduation and then sticking it out for five months, finding my own apartment, paying my own rent, getting to and from work every day, finding my own internships, entertaining myself in Los Angeles, making friends. I did it all. By muhself. That's actually false. I had a lot of help from various people-Leanne, Lars, my family, Zoe and Stacy at OddLot, my roommates, etc. Thinking that I did it all by myself is an illusion, but it gets me through the day.

And I gotta leave the office, so that's all I got...

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Sister Kinman!

So, Sister Kjirstin Kinman came home yesterday, and I got a chance to talk to her tonight. It was exactly what I needed after making my decision on Tuesday. Kjirstin was one of the girls who inspired me to go on a mission in the first place, and she's always been a sort of kindred spirit/someone I love and look up to. Talking to her made my soul feel a million times lighter. I feel like making the decision to go on a mission was the easy part; maintaining it is going to be difficult.

While I'm really, really excited to go, there are aspects of leaving for a mission that absolutely terrify me. It's going to be a lot of hard, hard work, and a lot of missing people, and a lot of emotional ups and downs, and a lot of personal changes, and a lot of big life changes in general. It sounds kind of strange, but I think my biggest fear is losing who I am right now. I know I'll come back a person that I could never be without the mission, but I'll be different. My gosh, I'm going to be so weird. But talking to Kjirstin really put my mind at ease. We talked about everything from preparing to go, to entering the MTC, to teaching people, to companions, to adjusting to life after the mission, to emotional roller coasters, all of it. Thinking about it all makes me really excited. Humbled. But excited.

I've been really blessed with the people I've been surrounded with lately. My parents couldn't be more supportive, my siblings are all for it, I have a ton of friends leaving for their missions, etc. My non-member friends have been really supportive as well, which feels awesome. It's been the perfect mix of the right people and the right timing. I actually never REALLY thought I would serve a mission, mostly because I was always really worried about leaving a few people in particular. I'm still worried about leaving those people, but it's also a really great feeling to make a decision based solely on what I think the Lord wants me to do.

Anyways, that's all I got.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A big one.

So, this is the big one. The big post. At least for me it is. Anyways, here it goes:

I've decided to serve a mission.

It's something I've thought about for a long, long, long time now. I always told myself that I wasn't going to serve one until I graduated so that I wouldn't have an excuse for not finishing school, etc., etc. Then I graduated, and I found myself thinking about a mission almost constantly. Every time someone mentioned a mission I would get this pit in my stomach, and I would start feeling anxious, which really should have tipped me off that this wasn't something I should be shrugging off. But whenever I thought of a mission, I always had a million "reasons" for not going: my career would be thrown off, I would miss my friends, I would miss out on so much music and so many movies, yada yada, and I always considered those reasons good enough.

But as I was walking to work one morning, all I could think about was the mission. I was already pretty emotionally charged from some other things that had been going on in my life, so I didn't put too much stock into what I was thinking about it all, but then I started to think about all the reasons I had for not going on a mission, and my body literally wouldn't let me consider them reasons. I thought about them, and they didn't matter at all. All the anxiety attached to them completely disappeared (and at this point I started getting really scared). So, I stopped at a crosswalk and said to myself, "I'm going on a mission," and I felt so, so, so much lighter. All this tension that I'd been carrying around with me completely vanished. And I think trying to deny that feeling would be about the worst thing I could do.

So, now I'm here, terrified. I feel very, very humble right now. And I don't meant that in a spiritually superior way, but an "Oh my gosh, what have I gotten myself into, I need all the help I can get" kind of way. The only thing keeping me going right now is this gut feeling that I'm supposed to go. And for now, I think I can work with that. Holy geez.

Soooo...that's all I got.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Boys, boys, boys.

So I was looking through my stuff the other day, and I found a list from a couple years ago with all the attributes I want in a husband. Call me a girl, but I've always like doing these kinds of lists, the same way I like taking personality tests on the internet--they're just something to do. So, I have since updated the list (since the last one was written when I was 17 and I knew everything and was so in touch with my emotions, enough to write gems like "makes me smile even when I'm down" and "likes to watch chick flicks").

So, here it goes...Things I want in a Future Husband:

1. A guy that realizes the importance of the gospel in a marriage.

One of the reasons I have a testimony of the gospel is my parent’s marriage. There is no way that these two people should be married after 30 years together. If you ask them how their marriage has stayed together, they’ll tell you, without hesitation, that it’s because of their faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. And while the couples that put the gospel first might not always have the edgiest or coolest lives, they’re always the happiest couples I know.

2. A man that’s smarter than me.

I need a guy that can keep me on my toes, intellectually and mentally. I don’t mean to make myself out to be this incredible person that guys simply can’t measure up to, but intelligence is just such a huge turn on. True story: I’d been ready to break up with this guy I’d been dating for something like 2 weeks. On the night I’d psyched myself up to do it, he explained to me how macroeconomics worked—I was so attracted to him in that moment that we dated for another month.

3. A man.

You know why women like Don Draper? Because he’s a man. A manly, brawny, square-jawed, manly man. He’s not a boy. He’s a man. That’s what I want. Not Don Draper-I’d kill myself. But a man. Not a guy. Not a dude. A man.

4. Someone who appreciates what it means to create and appreciates creativity.

I don’t need to marry an artist, musician, or a writer. But I do need someone who appreciates what it means to me to create, mostly in the form of writing. Creativity, writing especially, is such an odd beast because there’s no real way to quantify its success. And in the end, it’s very possibly that what you’ve spent hours and hours driving yourself crazy over won’t mean anything to anyone else but you. I need someone that can understand that I love to write, and need to write, and that I love art, and need to be around art, and that I like losing myself in my own creativity and in the creativity of others, and I need to do it every once in a while.

5. Someone who can make me laugh.

This pretty much goes without saying. One of my biggest joys in life is making people laugh. I’m not saying I’m good at it, but it’s one of life’s biggest highs, I think. So to marry a guy I couldn’t make laugh or that couldn’t make me laugh would just be stupid. Plus, growing up in the family I did, I learned that humor is a whole lot more than just making people laugh, it’s kind of a way of life. You can get by without a lot of things if you’re able to laugh about it.

6. I want an attractive man.

I don’t have a type, physically. I’ve liked some pretty odd-looking characters in my day. There are a few basics, though. He has to be taller than me. This is paramount. Taller than me and thicker than me. I can’t be the biggest one in the relationship. I need to know that my husband could beat me in an arm-wrestling competition or carry me across a river should our oxen fail. I blame this on growing up with three brothers. Other than that, I’m pretty open, actually. Facial tattoos are kind of gross. I’ll say no facial tattoos.

7. I want a guy who likes kids.

I think how a person interacts with children says a lot about them. Your knowledge of fine wines or the fact that you spend your weekend reading vintage books in a vintage bookstore doesn’t mean anything to a kid. Relating to and interacting with a kid requires a certain meekness, I think, and a disregard for how you’re being perceived. Children can’t validate you. People who like children and choose to spend their time with children, in my experience, are the generous souls, the people you want to hang on to.

8. A man that can make me feel like a girl (woman?)

I’ve never been a girly girl, per se. I grew up a tomboy and then molded into something caught between the mall, the gym, and the library. But I LOVE being a girl, or a woman, or whatever you want to call it. Makeup, clothes, hair, shoes, chick flicks, batting eyelashes, femininity, I love all of it. When a guy can make me feel like girl as well as a comedian or an intellectual or a writer or whatever other labels I might like to assign myself, it’s a great feeling.

9. A man that fits the scenarios.

There are certain scenarios, I think, that every girl runs through her head when she starts thinking about a guy. I don’t know why we do it. It’s probably irrational. In any case, there are a few choice scenarios I have, like meeting the family, being in a foreign country with that person, WILL THIS MAN BE ABLE TO HANDLE ME WHEN I’M PREGNANT? That kind of stuff.

10. A man that can deal with me.

I’m a weird person. At least I feel like I’m weird. I don’t operate in relationships the way a lot of other people do, I feel. Relationships are a strange business. And I need a man that can understand that I would never really be a normal girlfriend or wife. In fact, I would never be a girlfriend. I hate that word, and same goes for ‘boyfriend.’ I need a man that will get that I need to be able to feel independent, and I need to be able to nurture something or else I will explode, and that I’ll never be the one to make the first move, and that I will bottle everything up until I’ve rationalized it away or killed it with logic, and that I will get bored with any life I life before too long, and that I crave being alone sometimes, and that I have routines I haven’t broken since I was in high school, and that I could go for a year without seeing him and be totally fine but that I would be more than happy to drive across the country to spend a day with him, and that I’m totally and completely addicted to carbonation, and that I am just flat out weird sometimes.

Anywho, those are the basics. For the record, I can't wait to get married. I mean, I CAN. I love being single and having the world as my oyster and all that jazz, but I also know that my husband and I are gonna have a pretty friggin incredible life. Annnd that's all I got.

2. A

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Only in Los Angeles

Living in Los Angeles has its moments. I say this like people don't know this, like it's some city in the middle of North Dakota. What I mean to say is there are some moments when I think about the kind of things I've seen and done in this city, and I remember why I live here...and not some city in the middle of North Dakota.

Here are some of the highlights:

-I've walked around this city at 3 am and the streets are still full of people. Granted, these people are really weird, and half of them are sleeping on the side of the road, but there are people nonetheless. This has its ups and downs, actually. Living in Rexburg, you could walk around the city and not see another person walking around all night, which I kind of miss. There are time when I really miss it being QUIET.

-I've made friends with my bus driver. I take the same bus at the same time every day (the #12 at 9:20 am and 7:35 pm), and I have the same bus driver every day. I don't know his name yet, but we have nice little chats every time I get on. He's the best bus driver in town.

-Last week I was walking down Santa Monica Blvd on Halloween night. OH MY GOODNESS. The gays, they know how to do the Halloween. I saw go-go dancers, leather, facial tattoos, fury, drag queens. Men asked me how their hair looked, commented on my shoes, complimented my hair. I loved it.

-My internships sends its interns on a tour of the Sony lots every semester. This past week, I got to take my turn. I was actually dreading it; I had a ton of work to get done back at the office, and I didn't want to waste my time walking around. But, as it turns out, it was one of the coolest tours I've ever been on. I got to see technicians striking the set for the set of the batcave for Dark Knight Rises, I got to go into a foley artist's soundstage, I got to go into the room where they score all their films, I got to see Happy Madison's offices, I got to see where Adam Sandler plays basketball, I got to see the Ghostbuster's car, I got to see the Sony Yogurtland, I got to see the set of Wheel of Fortune, I got to see the room where they paint all their backdrops (which are incredible), I got to walk around on different soundstages, I got to see where George Clooney parks his car whenever he's on the lots, I got to see THE Barry Sonnenfeld, I got to see the Oscars for Kramer vs. Kramer and It Happened One Night, I got to see an actor who had just auditioned for a Tom Hanks project, I got to talk to a guard who told us that Will Smith was on the lots somewhere, I got to see a movie with a montage of a bunch of other movies. It was great.

I've gotten to see a few different celebrities: Shia LeBeouf, Dave Annabelle, Ali Larter, Kyle Howard, David Sutliffe, and Gavin Hood.

I've gotten to steal a couple of things from my internship that I probably shouldn't have. I've seen the script for the film adaptation of Ender's Game coming out next year, I've gotten to see Like Crazy and Another World, months before they came out.

I got to sit in the audience of Drive, one of the coolest movies I've ever seen, and recognize half the names that came up in the credits as people I work with every day.

I've seen hundreds of pieces of street art since I've been here from artist I love. I've seen original Shepard Fairey and Banksy pieces along with originals from the Ferus Gallery. THAT was cool.

And then there's Runyon Canyon. Runyon Canyon has become on of my favorite places in the city. I've never been anything less than happy while I've been there. Being there after night, especially, is incredible. It's the quietest place in the city, and you can see every burough of Los Angeles, all the way from Santa Monica to East LA and Los Feliz. It also reminds me a lot of Idaho, which is always nice.

It's November 5, and it's 70 degrees outside. There are trees with orange and red leaves on one side of the street and palm trees on the other side. It's the best mix.

Echo Park. Easily the coolest part of Los Angeles. I know it has a rap for being the hipster paradise of Los Angeles, and there's definitely a reason for that, but it's just so cool! There are a lot of weirdos hanging out in that place, but I love it.

There are probably more. In fact, I know there's more. BUT I've got other writing to do.

So, that's all I got.

Sunday, October 23, 2011


You would think that a 22 year old girl would be content with living in Los Angeles, one of the coolest cities in the entire world, for longer than 3 months. But these past few weeks I've been feeling myself become more and more restless. January is coming up, which means that I

a) need a job
b) need an internship with a job at the end
c) need something that I'm passionate about to the point where I don't care whether or not I'm making money
d) need to leave the United States (to hide from debts/explore)
e) need to decide whether or not to go on a mission
e) need to marry a rich guy

I figure I have a good month or month and a half to really start thinking seriously about what I want to be doing come 2012. The thing is every opportunity is starting to feel like a burden now. I feel like it's perpetually Friday night, and there are a million different things I could do, but I'm so exhausted with all of my options that I stay home and pay bills because it's what I know I should be doing.

So, for now, here are my options:

1. Stay in Los Angeles.
I love this city, but the more I think about living here permanently, the more exhausted I become. There are only a few scenarios that involve me staying in Los Angeles, but it could still happen. There's a lot of this city I have yet to experience, and I'd hate to leave it before I'd gotten a chance to use it up and spit it back out.

2. Move to New York.
As much as I love California (and I do love it), I miss the East Coast. There are a few things keeping me from moving there, though, like the fact that physically moving to New York with be the biggest pain in the butt in the world. However, there are a lot of cool jobs I've been researching there, one in particular with Tribeca Films (the company with the perfect combination of education and film).

3. Move to San Francisco.
I don't know why San Francisco keeps popping in my head, but whenever I think about moving there, I like it.

3. Move outside the US.
I've been wanting to teach abroad for a long, long time. Finding the right time to go has always been difficult, but I think it would be a nice change of pace while I'm young, unattached, and stupid.

4. Go on a mission.
I told myself that I would finish college before considering a mission, and now that I have, there's really nothing stopping me. I wouldn't hesitate to go on a mission if I felt it's what I was meant to do, but I've never really gotten a 'yes' or a 'no' either way. And the last thing I want to do is go on one just because I have no other plans or because everyone else is going on one.

5. Teach for America.
This one was inspired by volunteering at 826LA. There's really no downside to doing it, other than I don't want to be one of those teachers that wants to teach but drives home crying every night because they can't hack it. The more I hear about it, though, and the more I think about teaching in general, the more I come around to the idea. I started the application- we'll see what happens after I submit it.

6. Nomad.
This is the plan where I change my name and run around the world for a few years until the government forgets I exist, then I return to the United States a completely changed person with their life figured out and a really cool haircut.

Things I don't want to do:

1. Move home. This isn't even a last resort. It can't happen.
2. Lose momentum. It's one of the biggest things I have going for me right now. As long as I keep moving forward, I'll be fine.
3. Make the wrong decision. This is completely fear-based. And I know that right now there really is no such thing, but it's still scary.
4. Settle. This one's self explanatory
5. Make decisions based on other people.

That's about it. I'll update with things that have happened later.

Actually, note to self: update on my trip to Rexburg.

That's all I got.

Friday, September 30, 2011

This is Nucking Futs.

I know it's been forever since I've updated this (again). A lot's been going on. A lot, a lot. The life I'm living right now is almost completely different from the life I had when I moved here. And it's not even close to the life I thought I was going to have when I moved here. Sometimes I wake up and I can't believe this is my life. Last night I was walking around Runyon Canyon, looking around Los Angeles, and it all hit me at once. I've been so, incredibly blessed since I've been here. There's no way I'd be where I am without some divine intervention. And I don't say that lightly.

I've got an internship that I love, where I get to meet cool directors and producers and read cool scripts.
I'm moving into my first official apartment tomorrow. With 3 other girls. Literally across the street from the Los Angeles Temple.
I have a semi-steady job that provides me with more than enough rent/grocery/other crap money.
I have great friends here. Like, really great friends.
I have a tan (what?) And my hair is officially two feet long.
As of December I can do whatever I want, and go wherever I want.
I just discovered a crapload of new music.
I also just discovered the commissary at LA Air Force Base. I bought a whole thing of face wash for $2.25
I'm volunteering at 826LA, which is the best choice I've made since I got here. the kids are great, and it feels so good to be tutoring again.

Anyways, point it I'm incredibly blessed.

And that's all I got.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Sept. 16, 2011

This past week has been the greatest of my life here in Los Angeles. Actually, we'll make it the past two weeks. Soo much as happened, and it's all been awesome. Seriously, I could not be happier.

We'll start with two weeks ago--the weekend Jeff came to town to visit. It was such a great weekend, for lots of reasons. It's always nice to see familiar faces in Los Angeles, but I've missed Jeffrey Harrison White a lot. Those of you who know Jeff will understand why. Anyway, I went to his brother's wedding reception with him and the rest of his family. It was a nice, chill party with lots of cool people. I got to hang out with the Whites all night long, which is always a good thing. That night we went back to the White's house, watched Dr. Who, then Jeff and I slept outside by their pool. Waking up poolside under a palm tree the next morning was saweet, my friends, I highly recommend it. That morning we picked fruit, went longboarding (Jeff went longboarding, and tried to teach me how to longboard), then took Jeff to the airport. Good stuff.

The next weekend was my birthday. I know I've already written about it, but I have to write SOMETHING about it here. It was the perfect day as far as birthdays go. I got to talk to everyone I wanted to talk to, I got to go to church and chill out for the day, relaxed at home, got a homemade meal from Leanne, made friends on the bus to and from church. It was all perfect. Also, Leanne made out with Jason Segel the night before, making it the perfect send off from being 21.

My internships are going well. I'm actually quitting one of them, the one at Vendome Pictures. I've just decided it's not where I want to spend my time. Instead, I'll be volunteering at 826LA in Echo Park. SPEAKING OF 826LA IN ECHO PARK, I went there for an orientation yesterday, and I couldn't stop smiling. It's exactly the kind of thing I've been missing out here. I mean, working in film is awesome, but the personalities involved in film are a very particular type. Walking into 826LA felt immediately different than walking into work, in a good way. The people are awesome, and I'm soooo excited to get back into tutoring and working with kids again. After I left 826, I literally could not stop smiling. I can't wait to start working there.

In other news, I GOT AN APARTMENT. Actually, I got a place to stay in an apartment. But it'll sort of be mine. Make sense? It's a way chill place with a guy named Carlos. It's a whole lot more legit than I'm making it sound... Lars came with me to check the place out, and I think it's all gonna work out peachily.

ON TOP of all of that, Lars and I went to go see Drive at the Grove last night. Holy crap, best movie experience of MY LIFE! Not only did I recognize people's names on the screen as people I work with at my internship, but the movie is incredible. It's an experience more than it is a movie. I think it's going to be a huge game-changer actually. The audience was laughing, applauding, gasping, everything you want to happen in a movie. Anyways, it was the cherry on top of an already delicious cake.

So, to recap:

-Internship is awesome. Odd Lot Entertainment is the bee's knees.
-826 LA is going to be great. I'm so excited to work there.
-I have an apartment until December.
-Drive is the greatest movie of the year. Hands down.
-September 16th rivals September 3rd as the greatest day in Los Angeles so far.
-Lars and I are going to make a video about a girl who doesn't know how to make coffee for one of his classes. It's going to be hi-larious. Actually, hopefully it will be hilarious (This is actually new news, not a recap).

So things are going really, really, really well. It sounds stupid, but I just keep waiting for the ball to drop on all of this. It all sounds too good to be true. I've really been looked out for since I've been in Los Angeles. I know for a fact that I couldn't have done all of this by myself.

That's all I got.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


I've been terrible with this thing. Between reading scripts and writing coverage all day long, by the time it comes to write in this thing, I'm all spent. So, here are a few updates from the past few weeks:

-The internships are going great. OddLot is fantastic, and Vendome is slow/fantastic. With everyone being in Toronto for the film festival, things have been pretty chill. And I like it.

-I turned 22 on Sunday! It was the best birthday I've ever had. I hate making a big deal about my birthday, especially since THE September 11th (you know...that old chestnut). Anyways, the Universe made it the perfect day. I met a cool guy from Beirut on the bus on the way to church, had a good day at church creating divorce rings with Lars, had a birthday dinner cooked by Leanne, and got to talk to everyone I wanted to talk to. It was the perfect, low-key birthday I wanted.

-I went to my cousin Alex's birthday/housewarming party up in the hills the night before my birthday. I got to see him and a ton of my relatives, plus Jon Heder. So...good night.

-Leanne made out with Jason Segel. That's all I got to say about that...

-Eggs in a basket-still my favorite breakfast food.


-I went a week without my debit card last week. I lived only off the cash in my pocket, which totaled $14.00. Hayells yeah.

-I filled out my first apartment application today. For an apartment. My own apartment.

Oh my goodness, I don't even feel like finishing this post. I'm so exhausted.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Today, I am 22.

Last thing I did as a 21 year old: the dishes
Last song I listened to as a 21 year old: Beyonce's "Single Ladies." What else?
Last thing I bought as a 21 year old: Diet Pepsi and yogurt.
Last night as a 21 year old: Went to my cousin Alex's housewarming/birthday party.
Last thing I ate as a 21 year old: Broccoli
Last thing I drank as a 21 year old: Diet Pepsi
Last people I hung out with: Andrew and Lauren

First movie I watched as a 22 year old: Father of the Bride
First thing I wore as a 22 year old: grey sweatshirt and pajama bottoms
First thing I ate as a 22 year old: TBA

Other stats:

Job: Intern/freelance writer
Location: Los Angeles
Relationship Status: Single
Hair: At least 22 inches long, brown/red
Favorite food: eggs in a basket
Favorite movie: In Bruges, Crazy Stupid Love
Favorite band: Black Keys?
Favorite TV show: Mad Men
Current song obsession: The Hood Internet: Eve/Radiohead mashup
Current skin status: TAN

More on this whole "22 years old" thing later.


Friday, September 2, 2011

I love my Dad.

This whole post isn't about my dad--it's just being written after a lengthy phone call with my dad. I don't even know how much he'll actor into all of this. He could actually end up being the main focus or just a blurb.

Anyway, this past week has been a good one. I began one of my internships on Monday-the one at Odd Lot Entertainment. So far I LOVE it. The people, the work, the things I'm learning, it's all great. So far all I've really done is some expense reports and odd jobs around the office with some script coverage, but it feels cool being a part of this kind of team. I'm not sure if it's something I want to make a career out of, producing movies, but I love being able to do it right now. It's like being a part of this club all these years, liking movies and knowing about movies, and just now finding out where the clubhouse is. Next week I begin my internship at Vendome on top of this one. We'll see what happens there...

Other than all that, life is pretty good. I haven't been able to do a whole lot outside my internship except write a few articles. I HAVE been have to catch up on my movie-watching though. In the past week I've seen:

-Crazy, Stupid, Love (again...for the third time, actually)
-Friends with Benefits (eh)
-The Help (recommend)
-Going the Distance (I've seen better, but it was good)
-Hanna (Chemical Brothers' score was awesome. The movie: also awesome)
-Monte Carlo (yeah, the movie with Selena Gomez. I can't get over how adorable she is. That Justin Beiber will hold onto her if he knows what's good for him)
-Beastly (Nope. Mistake)
-Bridesmaids (Hilarious)
-X Men: First Class (Pass)
-Transformers 3 (the first fifteen minutes...)
-Something Borrowed (Alright)
-Charlie St. Cloud (the first fifteen minutes)

I'm gonna go ahead and stop right there.

That's all I got.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Oh Geez

Internships acquired.

Two internships--one at OddLot Entertainment and one at Eclectic Pictures. I'm so excited to start working there. Now, all I need is a job.

Now, to get to what this post is really about.
I've been talking to 4 of my friends about their 'man' issues recently. I've decided that's one of my callings in life, by the way, giving advice about men. I have no idea how it happened. It's the blessing and the curse of growing up with 3 brothers, I guess. Anyway, I was talking to one friend in particular, high on chick flicks, frustrated with men in general, and we got to talking about her latest project- writing a letter to the men in our lives--sort of a blanket "what girls want" out of relationships and what-not. She asked me to do the same. So, I started thinking about it, and this is what came out. I won't post everything we came up with; I'll only give you the first four or five. I think they're pretty good ones...

Keep in mind, I don't usually do this unless provoked. This isn't a blog about boys, just a post.

-Pragmatism is good. I'd much rather get to know a guy on a personal level than be bombarded by flowers and all that. But, it's nice when a guy steps it up every once in a while, like not letting a girl take the bus home at midnight in Los Angeles (it's really a funny story...).

-I've always liked it when a guy can make me feel like a girl. It's nice feeling like one of the guys-it's comfortable/ fun- but it also feels really good to take a break from having to be an adult who has to run their life and get honked at by mechanics all day and just be treated like a smart, pretty, interesting girl.

-Letting things go on forever without talking or progressing is bull. Man up and talk about what you want to happen with whatever situation you're in with the person you're romantically involved with. This is one of the most frustrating situations ever. I hate it.

-Be honest, no matter the situation. That one's pretty cut and dry. Being lied to is one of the worst feelings in the world.

-If you're interested in a girl, let her know. Don't make her come to you. I've never heard a girl say, "I love how good he is at playing games and being aloof." If you care, show it.


Haha. Alright, that's all I got for now. I don't want this to turn into one of those lists about how much girls love it when you notice their eye color or how guys should show up at the movies with a girl's favorite candy and not be afraid to cry in front of her.

Now, I've got some chick flicks to catch up on.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts for the day:

-First, I hate it when people use the word "random." I don't know why. I also hate ''awkward.'' It's overused, and half the time things aren't really all that awkward.

-I was listening to a Missy Elliott song the other day, and one of the lyrics in the song is "from the V-A to the L-A coast." I realized that I'm on the exact opposite end of the country from my hometown in Fairfax, VA. So, thanks, Missy. Cool realization.

-I was talking with a friend the other day about the guys we've dated, and I realized that I don't have a "type." At all. From the boys I liked in high school to the guys I've dated in college, they're all extremely different. I've dated a 6'3" Jewish debate captain, a 5'8" education major, a 6'5" linebacker that now works for the government, and a 5'10" business major/pilot to name a few.

-Lately I've been addicted to Mad Men. It's on Netflix instant play, and I've watched almost all four seasons. I'm fascinated by this show. I love everything about it. I love the writing, the costumes, and the sets, but most of all, I love the women. I especially love Joan Holloway. She's my idol. She is the perfect combination of sex appeal, smarts, and vulnerability. And she's a redhead with hips...

-Google maps has severely underestimated my power-walking. A route that was supposed to take me an hour and 10 minutes to walk only took me 50 minutes.

-I find myself wanting to swear a lot more since I've been out here. I usually don't swear at all, and I mean at all. But, lately these words just keep popping up in my head even when I'm not talking to anyone. No bueno.

-Bright side: my French in improving. I don't know when it happened, but I've been remembering a lot of the French I learned in high school/college. It's really strange. The other day I had a whole two-part conversation with myself in my head in perfect French.

-There was an earthquake in Virginia today. The irony? I'm in California, the most earthquake- prone state in the Union, and my hometown gets an earthquake.

-I think I'm getting too independent for my own good. I spend most of my days walking around LA alone, and I love it. This isn't to say that I don't love hanging out with my friends out here, but I love being able to walk around and do what I want without having to worry about making other people happy or having someone to answer to. Hopefully once my internship starts, though, I'll be better.

-Speaking of which- I got an internship. At least, I got my first internship. I'm still not sure whether or not I'm going to get another one. I might just stick with one for now. Anyways, it's with Odd Lot Entertainment. I'm so, so, so excited to start there.

-I've seen No Strings Attached at least 12 times since I've moved to LA. I'm fascinated with this movie. I don't know why; it's really a terrible show all around, but I can't get enough of it. I don't recommend it to anyone. In fact, I'd ask you not to waste your time watching it. This is my burden to bear alone.

-I've lived here for almost a month now, and I'm still not afraid of walking around at night. Everyone tells me this is stupid, and I believe them. I think I'm pushing my luck walking around at night by myself, but I can't help it. Ever since started running at night in Virginia, the night has no affect on me (in most situations...I'm not stupid).

Anyway- just some of the stuff I've had on my mind recently.

That's all I got.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

50% Home

Quick summary of the past few days:

-LA GALAXY GAME LAST NIGHT! I got to see Landon Donovan, David Beckham, Clint Mathis, and ROBBIE FRIGGIN KEANE IN HIS AMERICAN DEBUT last night with Caleb, then we went to get Kogi afterward, which may have been better than the game itself. It was such a good night, even after Caleb was 1 hr 45 min late (cough, cough). It's been four years since I've gotten to see a pro game. It was totally worth it, especially since the tickets were free.
-I think I mentioned my interview with Vendome pictures? Maybe not? Anyway, it went really well. I would LOVE to work there, especially since it's located on Wilshire Blvd, which is quickly becoming my favorite street.
-Barefoot Blue Jean Night on Friday night. Leanne decided to have a Southern night at her place, complete with pulled pork, green beans, corn on the cob, cornbread, banana pudding, and baked beans. It was actually a lot of fun. I got to see Chloe West, whom I went to high school with; it was so bizarre. It was a good night though-lots of catching up with people...and not going to bed until 4 am.
-I am officially a member of the Glendale 7th Ward.

So, the real point of this post is something that I've been thinking of a lot lately. I've been asking myself how much I really want to stay in California, whether staying here is what I'm meant to be doing or just what I want to be doing. This debate came to a head after a particularly long day when nothing (at all) seemed to be going right, and I had no idea how I was going to wake up the next day and do it all over again. I was exhausted, I didn't have anyone to turn to who I felt would really understand how I was feeling, I felt like things should have been going more smoothly if this is what I was meant to be doing, etc. All of this has been the focus of my prayers for a while now, and while I was sitting down in sacrament meeting today, I think I got my answer(s). A man gave a talk (I think he was from the high council? I'm a terrible person), and I swear every other word out of his mouth was something about perseverance. By the end of his talk when he quoted Winston Churchill's famous "Never, never, never, never, never give up" I was literally sitting in my seat thinking, "Alright, I get it!" It was exactly the talk I needed to hear. Basically, the point of it was that experience is priceless. As long as you keep your head on straight, experience can only serve to make you a better person. SO, as long as I can keep my head on straight and have fun with everything that's going on, all of this will make me appreciate Los Angeles a whole lot more once I get it all figured out.
While living here is exhausting, especially without a car and a steady job, it's one of the coolest experiences I could ask for. I'm 21 years old, living in Los Angeles, no one depending on me for anything, relying on myself and no one else. Who gets a chance to live like this? I love it.

That's all I got.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Artsy Fartsy

So yesterday was one of those days that felt like it would never start, and then it felt like it would never end. Since I thought it would be my last free day for a while with my interviews and orientations this weekend/next week, I figured I would do something I wanted to do. I've been dying to go to a museum here since the last time I tried to go to one in Los Angeles (with Jeff, last year), it had closed by the time we got there. I found out that the MOMA and MOCA are free on Thursdays from 5:00pm to 8:00pm thanks to Wells Fargo, AND that the MOCA was showing The Cool School, a documentary about the Ferus Art Gallery--what really brought modern art to LA.
Earlier in the day I went to Runyon Canyon. It was probably a mistake to go in the middle of the day, especially since I went the night before. The combination of the heat and my tired legs made it super hard. I went up the canyon's steepest face first, which I never do, and I was dying. I felt like a wimp since I'd hiked the thing maybe ten times since I've been to LA, but I was struh-guh-ling.
I biked home after that and took a shower before I made the trek to the MOCA. I planned out my whole route online, planning to bike there. Biking turned out to be a crappy idea since the screws in both my handlebars and my seat are coming loose. So I hopped on the Metro (which was FREE because they were doing maintenance on the ticket machines) and got to the MOCA just in time.
The documentary itself was awesome. I highly recommend it to those interested in art. It reminded me a lot of Dogtown and the Z Boys, actually, the documentary about the Zephyr skate teams back in the 70s. What these artists in the Ferus Gallery did was unlike anything going on in the nation, artistically, let alone the wasteland that was Los Angeles back in the 1960s. They started the Ferus Gallery with Walter Hopps and single-handedly put Los Angeles on the 'art' map. Really, really cool story. And great art. The coolest part was seeing Frank Gehry talk about all these guys and sharing stories about all their hijinks, knowing that I was right across the street from the Disney Concert Hall.
The walk home was my favorite/least favorite part of the day. The area around the MOCA/Disney Concert Hall is beautiful at night. It's very clean and official-looking in some parts and artistic and serene in others. I got on the Metro, and this wave of exhaustion hit me. I don't know if it was dehydration or what, but I was soooo incredibly tired. The thought of walking home made me want to lie down and take a nap.
Anyway, I did end up walking/biking home. I swear, my feet will develop a coating of steel over them in the next few weeks. They need a pedicure so badly. And I don't get pedicures.

The walk home gave me a lot of time to think, though, about what I want out of this city. If I even want to be in this city at all. I love Los Angeles, but there's something about it that can rub you the wrong way, especially in a few particular areas. So, I've been thinking these past few weeks about what I want to do. I've actually been reading my patriarchal blessing a lot, trying to figure out what it is I'm meant to do. That's something I'm really trying to keep in mind right now. I know there are things I want to do (work on movies, write, etc) and there are things I'm meant to do (which are to be determined). I still have a part of me that wants to be involved in academia and teaching/working with non-profits, etc. So, I need to reconcile these two and figure things out. And the sooner I can do that, the better.

Anyway, that's my rant. Right now I'm sitting in a Starbucks on Beverly Dr. with my Mac, working on writing and reading screenplays. This is part of Los Angeles that I could definitely get used to. Minus the teenagers (none of whom can possibly be older than 16) making out in the corner. It's 2:30 in the afternoon, kids. Go reach your potential.

That's all I got.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Good things.

It's been quite the few days since I've updated this thing. I've been doing a lot of sample coverage writing/reading of scripts, etc. I also had an interview yesterday and two more before Monday. Things are picking up, and I'm really liking where they're going.

Caitie came into town Saturday. It felt SO good having her there. We went to Kogi and Yogurtland (right across the street from each other-a sign straight from God). We walked around a little bit, went to Ralphs, caught up, and hung out back at Leanne's place. When we got home we were bombarded by Barrett and his friends who started playing an X Men drinking game. Sometimes I really wish I drank, because this was a doozy. Then, Barrett and I stayed up until about 6 am talking about random stuff and watching random TV shows. I don't know how much of the conversation he remembered in the morning, but it was also a doozy.

The next morning we went to church (my first sacrament meeting in almost 5 weeks). Just being in the building was a relief, let alone taking the sacrament. After sacrament, Caitie, Lars and I went to see Crazy, Stupid, Love- a movie I highly recommend to anyone and everyone. Afterwards, we went to lunch with Caleb, then back to Glendora. Glendora was its usual Glendora self- perfect. We hung out at Lars' then went hiking up to Larsland for pictures and, for some people who will not be mentioned, a lil sum' sum'.

This week's been pretty all over the place. Caitie and I went to Santa Monica on Monday, I spent the day writing/reading on Tuesday, then yesterday I had an interview with Voltage Pictures. I decided to walk home afterwards, which is the best and worst thing I did all day. The walk was gorgeous, but my heels were killing me. I ended up stopping at an ethnic specialty store for some food (good), my feet were still killing me (bad), I bought flip flops at Target for the walk home (good), by the time I got half-way home I couldn't tell whether my skin was tan or just dark because of soot (bad), I bought hair-dye so that I can finally get my hair back to the way it's supposed to be (good).

The best part about walking home, though, was that I got to donate blood in a random Cedars Sinai donate-blood-mobile. BONUS, for donating blood they gave me two free tickets to the LA Galaxy on Saturday. BOOM!

Since tomorrow's probably the last free day I'll have for a while, I'm going to the MOCA for a screening of The Cool School. I'm pretty stoked. I saw a few minutes of it back in the day, but I never got to finish it. Is gon be good.

That's all I got.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I'm big in Japan.

There's a different breed of human that exists between the hours of midnight and 5 am in Los Angeles. They're all male, they all love to yell, and they all want sex. As I was walking home down La Brea Avenue at 3 am, I had at least 7 different guys stop and cat call me. Not a big deal, unless you consider the fact that the walk itself is only about 7 minutes. In the back of my mind I kept thinking "This is how D list celebrities must feel when they get big in Japan."

I'm big on La Brea Avenue at 3 am.

It all started when I went to Glendora to hang out at Lars' while he helped host an Indian dinner for some people from the singles' ward. I wasn't really looking forward to the trek, just because buses and I aren't on the best terms at the moment. BUT, it was a chance to go to Glendora, one of my favorite places in California thanks to Lars and Jeff, meet people from the singles ward, see Lars, and get out of Los Angeles for a little bit--all good things.

I got on the 733 downtown-everything's good. I'm on the bus looking for my stop when I realize that the bus driver has passed it. I ask her when I can get off, and the conversation goes something like this.

Annalee: Hi, I missed my stop. When's the next stop?
Driver: Where are you trying to go?
Annalee: Ummm Spring and's back there a ways.
Driver: Spring and 1st is back there. You missed it.
Annalee: Yeah, haha, I know. Is there a way I can get off and just walk back there?
Driver: You missed your stop, so you'll have to walk back there.
Annalee: Okay....can I do that?
Driver: Okay, but you'll have wait and get off and walk.
Annalee: Right, so can I get off here?
Driver: Wait a minute...(literally waits a minute and opens the door).

So I walked about a half mile back to the stop and saw my bus pull away as I was about a block away. Luckily there was one about five minutes later, so I got on it and made it to Glendora. I waited in a Walgreens parking lot and Lars picked me up. I have to say it was really nice seeing him. It would've been nice to see anyone that I know's face, but his especially.

Anyway, we had dinner, which was delicious, then went swimming, which was great, except I spent the whole time trying not to get wet since I had to ride the bus home, then we had dessert and talked shop for a little more than an hour, and I was off again. I got a ride to Pasadena from Cody Owens, and we did some BYU-I reminiscing. I got on the 11:50 train from Pasadena to Union Station, prepared to get on the 1:00 am 33 bus from Downtown LA to La Brea/Olympic. I walked around downtown LA for a little bit, looking for the bus-stop, and I got the distinct feeling like I was an idiot for being there by myself. I'm not afraid of being by myself at night, but even I knew I was pushing my luck with this stunt.

I got the the bus stop and waited until 1 am. When the bus finally drove right past me. So...I waited until 2 am. There were a few weird moments, most coming from guys insisted that they give me a ride home, or told me I was really pretty and wanted my number. While I waited I made friends with two really cool, really nice older men- one named Paco and one named Larry. Paco came across the street from the other bus stop and proceeded to lecture me about being out so late. When he saw that I was reading about film, he told me I was going to be a big star. He kept me company until he got on the 70 bus back east. Larry, another older guy, came up and started chatting about where I was going and why I was out so late, then we talked about our mutual dislike of the late night bus schedule.

I got on the 2 am 33 bus towards Santa Monica, and let me tell you, there are some shady characters on that bus. I don't mean to stereotype or anything, but I was the only white person on the bus, one of two females (the other was a roughly 40 years old, heavier-set, who was sleeping with her mouth open and head bobbing from side to side; I was trying to hard not to laugh), and I had the impression that everyone on that bus thought I was nuts and/or wanted me out of there. There was one guy, in particular, who made his disapproval very clear. So, I pretended to read my book while I was really nodding off because I was so tired. I finally got home around 3 and went to bed.

So, while I love Los Angeles, and I'm glad that I got to meet Larry and Paco (bus buds 4 eva), I don't think I'll be doing that again. Mama didn't raise no foo.

That's all I got.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Sunday, bloody Sunday

I really shouldn't complain, because it could've been worse, and I'm making it seem like it was the end of the world, but I'm going to complain anyway. Yesterday was crap.

I woke up around 7:30 to get ready for church. I haven't been to church in something like four weeks because of traveling, people being in town, etc. and I was really looking forward to going back. I got to the bus stop around 9:30 in time to catch the 733 downtown to Main Street. I got on the train, got off at Main, and waited for the 92 towards Burbank, which should have taken me to two blocks away from the church. I went to the stop and waited. And then I waited some more. I waited for 40 minutes for this bus, with an Armenian man asking me where to catch the 33 every 3 minutes.
SO, I got on google maps and rerouted. I got on the 91 to Sunland and rode the bus, hoping it was the right one, towards Burbank. I asked the bus driver if the bus went to Glenoaks/Central, which was my stop, and he told me that I needed to be on the 94. I got off the 91 and got on the 94, already twenty minutes late for church. I rode the 94 for a few stops, but noticed the were heading away from Glendale, so I asked the bus driver (again) if he was going by my stop, and he told me that the closest thing to my top was two stops ago. I got off the bus, turned on my GPS, and walked the 1.7 miles to the church along the 134. It was hot, I was in a dress, there were men honking at me every thirty seconds, my feet were killing me, I was late, I'd been traveling for the past 2 hours, etc., etc. To add insult to injury, the 92 bus actually passed me on my way to the church. Piece of crap...
When I finally go to the church, I was exhausted, and I looked like it. I walked up the the church, walked in, and ran into Myra Lindstrom. She took one look at me and asked me "what happened?" I was sweating and my makeup was probably all over the place. We went to the bathroom and cleaned up, then met up with Aaron White on the other end of the church. Just being inside a church felt good, even if it was only for a few minutes. By this time, I was about to fall over I was so tired, and the idea of spending another two hours in church when I felt like crap made me feel even more crappy, so I left. It would've been nice to hang out with Myra and the gang a little more, but all I wanted to do was change into something other than a dress and lie down forever.
But it doesn't end there. I walked to the 92's stop and waited for another 30 minutes until the bus came, got on the bus, and got off again 30 minutes later in downtown LA. I spent another 15 minutes looking for the stop for the 28, which was two blocks away from where it should have been on Spring/8th St (thank you very much, Los Angeles). I got on the bus, which was crowded as crap, and got off another 40 minutes later at Olympic/La Brea, and I walked home, getting through the door at 5:30 pm.
Walking into the house felt SO GOOD. I don't think I've ever been so happy to lie down on a bed. Ever. I don't know why the day was so draining. Maybe it was because I was frustrated the whole time.

Anyways, it was the longest day in the world. Now, my feet are inflamed and sore. WedMD says I have strained tendons, and it ordered me to bed rest. So that's what I've been doing ever since.

On the bright side, I had an okay night, and a good morning today. There was a nice discussion about Room Raiders, and what a guy would think about us if all they saw was were our rooms.

And back to bed rest.

Friday, August 5, 2011


So, yesterday marked my first day of temping in Los Angeles which, surprisingly, was a whole lot easier than it used to be back in Virginia. I got on the bus around 7:30 and rode for about an hour out to Santa Monica, right to the ocean front. The company I worked for was called Premier Sports Entertainment, and they represent some pretty big names. In fact, I could actually give you Kim Kardashian's email address if I felt so inclined. The day went by really, really slowly. I got maybe 15 calls between the hours of 9:00 am and 5:00 pm, which, if you're as seasoned a receptionist as the rest of us, you know that that's child's play. I mostly just sat and read Tina Fey's book and spent some time searching random sites. My big thing right now is memorizing Los Angeles' streets so I'm not always going to Google maps. (Again, plug for Google maps.) I went for a short walk along the beach around lunch time, but that was about it. By the time I got home I couldn't believe how exhausted I was for only sitting all day. I fell asleep around 7:30 pm, woke up around 8:30 pm, wrote for a couple of hours and then went to bed again around 1:00 am.
OH! I forgot to mention the biggest piece of news for the day--I talking to Laila Ali (TV personality, female boxer, daughter of Muhammad Ali) on the phone! She called asking for her agent, and like a friggin pro I directed that call. Anyway...

I JUST TALKED TO LAILA ALI AGAIN. AS I WAS WRITING THIS SHE CALLED, AND AGAIN I DIRECTED HER CALL! WHAT ARE THE ODDS!?'s been the same deal. The office has been dead all day, except I have an essay I'm working on to keep me busy. It's actually the most fun I've had writing something in a long time. It still needs some work, but I'm pretty proud of it as is. With all this time on my hands NOT answering phones, I've decided to start beefing up my portfolio and coming up with some writing samples. It's my homework assignment to myself. My goal is to start have a screenplay, a short story (that I've been working on for about a month now, but haven't finished), an essay (maybe this one), and some poems done by the end of the year.

Other goals:

-Get a place of my own to live in. I love Leanne, but I also like non-suitcased living.
-Start applying for internships. I love being a receptionist, but I also like non-stupid living.
-Run Runyon Canyon. This one's gonna be a b***h.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Today is a big day.

-Today I baked for the first time in about two weeks. Anyone who knows me knows that this is big. It felt so good.
-Today I got my first (temporary) receptionist job. It's for tomorrow and Friday at a sports entertainment corporation. The best part: it's on Santa Monica Blvd. and Ocean Avenue. It's literally right on the waterfront in Santa Monica. That means I will be able to walk outside and be on the beach. This also means that as of Friday afternoon I will have more money than when I came to California. I like all of these things.
-Today I found blonde streaks in my hair. Not really light red, blonde. I need to dye this hair fast.
-Today was the first time I drew blood in over a month. I tripped on a sidewalk crack while I was running and got a big gash in my hip, a cut on my knee, and a big bruise on my right forearm.
-Today I started reading Bossypants by Tina Fey. I love that woman with all of my heart. I highly recommend this book, and I'm only on page 55.
-Today was the first time I didn't have to look up a place on Google maps before I walked there. By the way, Google maps has absolutely saved my life while I've been here. That, and GPS.

This is probably the biggest one. This is actually the first time I've written about this where people could see it, and I don't know if now is even the right time. Anyway, I've been "seeing" someone for a while now. "Seeing" doesn't sound like the right word; I don't know what the right word is. I've been "slightly more than hanging out" with someone for almost four months now. Four months. I just realized this today. We had our first "date" on March 29th, back in Idaho, and we've been "slightly more than hanging out" ever since. It's really unusual for me, actually, to stay in this kind of relationship this long. Usually I get bored, or I don't want to commit, or I feel like my independence is being stepped on, so I leave, but not this time. I'm not saying this one is the one or anything; it's just funny to me that I woke up and realized it had been four months. So, heres to four more?

That's really all that's happened today. LA is beginning to feel more like home even though I'm still technically living out of a suitcase. I think as soon as I get my own place it'll feel permanent. I can't wait. In the back of my head I still can't believe I'm here. I've been so incredibly blessed. I already have a source of income, I have an amazing friend who's let me crash at her place free of charge (for now, at least), I have other friends/family less than an hour away, and I have a family who trusts that I'm doing the right thing, which is huge to me. I've had a alot, and I mean a lot of prayers answered since I've been here. I don't want to go overboard, but it would be stupid of me to take all the credit. There's no way I could make it this far without some divine intervention. The fact that I'm here in the situation I'm in, with the opportunities I have, is a miracle. I'm really, really grateful.

Alright, that's all I got.

Monday, August 1, 2011

11.2 miles

I walked 11.2 miles today.

Today's my first official weekday in Los Angeles. I spent all weekend insided, so I figured it was time to get out of the house. I've been wanting to check out more of Hollywood since I've been here, so I left the house around 1:00 pm and walked for what seemed like forever down La Brea Avenue towards the Hills. It was a really nice walk, except for the fact that the sun was blazing, and I was wearing a baggy sweater (I can't help it. I'll never give them up).
Anyways, I walked all the way to Hollywood, and I was about two blocks away from the canyon entrance when I got a phone call for my first interview, which is SUPER exciting. My phone kept cutting out, so I had to call the woman back three times, but I got it eventually. It's not for my dream job or anything, but if I can start working for this company I can make, hopefully, around $15/hour, which, Lars calculated, will make me rich beyond my wildest dreams. Or at least help me pay off student loans and not have to start selling drugs/my organs. Sooo this is good news. I've been praying for this for a while. I definitely feel like someone's looking out for me up there. A-wink!
I got to Runyon Canyon and hiked up the hill to the overlook, which was breathtaking. You can see literally all of Los Angeles from up there. I still can't believe I'm here.
After Runyon (speaking of which, I owe Runyon Canyon $2 for water), I walked down La Brea for a bit, then decided to turn on Santa Monica and walked for a while. I stopped at a place called Circus Books for a few minutes, which was kind of cool. They had a lot...a LOT... of gay porn in there, but they also had some really great deals in the back, like a few books by Joyce Carol Oates for $2 each, and a bunch of books on the movie industry for less than $5 each. If I weren't so terrified of spending money, I would've walked out there a very happy girl. With books. Not porn. Just so we're clear.
I walked down Santa Monica some more, then turned down La Cienega, passed the Beverly Center, onto San Vicente, then onto Sycamore, and HOME to Leanne's house. My legs have never been more tired in my life. I can feel every last block on them.

The moral of the story is that today was a good day. Over the weekend I felt really disconnected from the city, like I was working against it if that makes any sense. I'd applied for soo many jobs, and I kept on getting this nagging feeling like they were all long shots. The phone call was just what I needed. I also got a lot of sun today. My moisturizer didn't have any sunscreen, which I'll pay for in thirty years, but in the meantime I got quite a nice tan. And my hair keeps getting blonder, which needs to be remedied. I miss being a brunette/redhead.

I also learned that Rexburg left a bigger imprint on me than I originally thought. In Rexburg, EVERYONE smiles at EVERYONE. All the time. It's one of the friendliest places on Earth. I found myself smiling at everyone I passed out of habit, which I think took some people by surprise, especially some men. It's probably a stupid thing to do, especially with the men, but I can't help it. So, I think I'm going to make a deal with God: I'll be nice to everyone I see on the streets (smile at people, open doors, say 'hi,') if God will let me not get mugged. I think it's pretty reasonable.

So now I'm sitting in a Starbucks, using up all their free WiFi, listening to "Ramona" by Beck, and I'm feeling sooo good. I feel like I've accomplished something today, and I feel like tomorrow has a lot of potential too.

Because tomorrow, I ride the BUS.

Goodnight, Los Angeles.

City of Angels

So, I did it.
I'm done with college in every sense of the word.
I moved out of Rexburg forever.
I have a college degree.

I really can't believe it, mostly because I still feel like I'm going back to school in September.

But it happened. Right now I'm sitting in my friend's apartment in Los Angeles with 2 liters or Diet Coke on my right, a container full of weed in front of me (banana flavored, which, if I weren't completely, 100% not interested in drugs, might tempt me to smoke it), and a head full of things I need to get done this week. Chief among these things to get done is finding a job. I applied for 11 different jobs today. Hopefully at least ONE of them turns into something. I hate job hunting. What's more, I hate job hunting in cities I don't know, with no car. I've got some faith though. Hopefully something happens soon :)
Also, update: I'm no longer looking to be a nanny. It turns out nannying in Los Angeles is a pretty shady business. Instead, I've started looking at receptionist jobs. I think it'll be a much better fit since I'll have more time to write and I can start studying for the GRE.

I'm also taking the GRE.

Or at least studying for it. It all happened pretty quickly. Leanne and I were talking about grad school, and I heard myself say I was going to take the I am. I guess. I decided I'd give myself a year before I made myself decide on things like grad school/moving/a mission, etc., so studying for the test in the meantime will be a nice distraction/goal to move towards. Plus I have a feeling I'm going to be missing academia pretty soon, so staying in touch with something educational will be really nice.

Anyways, that's what's going on now. Living in Los Angeles-with two weeks to look for a job/place to live in either LA, Glendale, or Pasadena.

Some updates from the past couple of weeks:

-I graduated. It's nothing like I was expecting it to be. It was actually more of a pain than a celebration. I didn't get any sleep the night before since I had to say goodbye to Caitie and pack up my room. I didn't go to commencement, only convocation, which was weird. I ended up walking to the Hickley chapel myself since my family wasn't ready, and I got there about one minute before the ceremony actually started. I almost fell asleep during the ceremony because I hadn't slept at all the night before. Afterwards, though, one of my teachers pulled my family an I aside and told them that I was "one of the best writers to come through BYU-I's program in many, many years." I almost cried. I'll miss Brother Samuelson so much.
-I said goodbye to Caitie. It was pretty rough. Really rough. If it hadn't been for me calling Lars right after, I would've just sat and cried all night long. Saying goodbye to her and Jeff were the hardest out of all the goodbyes.
-My fam and I spent a week in CA together. Mary Alice and I went to Glendora to hang out with Lars and Caleb on her birthday, we went to Pasadena where Isaac and I made fun of passers-by at the Cheesecake Factory, we drove up Highway 1 to see Dad's old house on Manhattan Beach, I went to Glendora again to hang out with Lars, we saw Harry Potter 7.2 and Captain America, we went shopping at the Beverly Center and hung out in LA for the night.

That's all the big stuff, I think. I'm still trying to get used to everything and find out where I fit in in this new life. That's so weird, trying to find your own niche in your own life. I have no idea where I'm supposed to go from here, which is completely unlike me. Usually I have my life planned out pretty far in advance, but not this time. It's terrifying and exciting at the same time. I know I can do it; the only terrifying part is not being able to see everything 10 steps ahead of me. All I can see right now is that there's ground ahead of me to step on. That, in and of itself, is a big step for me.


"I almost broke my ankle on that back-pedal."
-A result of Vertigo.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Looking Forward, Backward, Sideways and Slantways

Today is July 6, 2011, which means that I have 16 days until I graduate from BYU-Idaho. No matter how hard I try, I cannot wrap my mind around this concept. I've been up here since September of 2007, and this semester will be the seventh semester STRAIGHT that I've gone to classes here. In 16 days I say goodbye to this place (probably forever) and move to Los Angeles, California. Just writing all of this is blowing my mind.

So here's to looking forward, backward, sideways, slantways, all that...

Looking Forward:

I don't think the fact that I'm moving to California has hit me yet, probably because I don't have a job/permanent place to live as of right now. The move holds a bunch of different emotions, actually. I'm excited to be in Los Angeles and start fresh. I'm terrified of actually starting fresh, all by myself, in a city I know only semi-well. I'm anxious about how all the logistics will pan out (money, apartment, job, money). I'm curious to see how I'll manage to do all of these things. Overall, though, I'm ecstatic. This move has been a long time coming. For now my plan is to nanny for a couple months while I get my head on straight. I was going to go straight into interning/script reading, but after seven semesters of English I need to get my head on straight and read/write what I want to for a little while. It would also be nice to utilize a different skill set for a few months, watching kids instead of grading papers or tutoring. So pray for me. Pray very, very, very hard.

Looking Backward:

I'm already missing Rexburg. I couldn't have picked a better school to go to, I don't think. I mean, I know I could've picked a better school, but the experience itself couldn't have been better for me. I don't think we realize until we're about to leave just how strangely perfect Rexburg is. The way I explain it to other people is that Rexburg is my Orange County (from the movie Orange County). It's probably the last place on Earth that I would actually choose to live in, but it's exactly what I needed at this stage in my life- the people, the atmosphere, the stupid weather, all of it. I couldn't have asked for a better college experience. I've met so many incredible people and done so many things I would never do elsewhere. I'm going to miss it. A lot.

I should probably throw some highlights from the past couple of weeks in here..

-I found out I was nominated for Outstanding English Graduate for the semester. I didn't even know there was a thing until about a week ago.
-I got to visit California with my dad and uncle about three weeks ago for a funeral. It was one of the best trips I've ever taken. It was so nice to see family (and meet new family) and spend some time in LA with Leanne.
-I'm done with school, not in a literal sense, but I've completely checked out in my mind. I can't believe how hard it is to find motivation to get things done. It's bad.
-My family is selling the car I learned to drive in. Our fifteen-seater, which by now is famous in Fairfax, is going to a new home. My family will be replacing it with a mini van...
-I'm tan. And about two shades away from blonde.
-I gave up soda. It's been five days since my last carbonated beverage of any kind. Those of you who know me know what a big deal this is. It's not fun, but I don't crave it as much as I thought I would. I miss its convenience more than anything else.
-After almost 9 semesters up here, I finally climbed R mountain. No one knows why it took me this long, but I finally went up with Caitie two Sundays ago. It was the perfect hike. Actually, it was more like the perfect day.
- This past weekend was the fourth of July. We spent it at Sister Morgan's place, taking the canoe out on the river, eating hot dogs, and talking about Sister Morgan's crazy life. Then we spent 4 HOURS at a rodeo in Rexburg.
-Isaac's putting his mission papers in soon. This is the best news I've had in a long, long time.
-Rave On Buddy Holly came out this past week. It's the best album I've listened to all year. This isn't huge news, but it's sooooooo good. "Dearest" by Black Keys is money/cherry/mint.
-In other music news, I've been on a huge blues&soul trip. I can't stop listening to Otis Redding.

Also, this is more for my own memory than anything else, but I have to record this story from Brother Griffin:

Bro Griffin (talking to a student that has actually lost a leg): Hey man, you're sitting kinda funny. You lost a leg or something?
Student: Um...yeah.

That's all I got.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Bucket List

There are officially 67 (ish) days until I graduate. I'm so scared/ excited/ anxious/ horrified/ twitterpated, it's crazy. Every time I look around me, I think about how this is my last summer ever in Idaho. There's so much crap I have to do here before I go. I've wasted my life in Idaho. Seriously. So here's my list of what I need to do, in Idaho and otherwise....

1. Climb R Mountain.
2. Go to some sort of cave. I'm not picky
3. Attempt a Big Jud
4. Go to a devotional in the BYU-I center
5. Go to the farmer's market
6. Eat at Fongs, that one pancake place, NY Burrito, and Gringos.
7. Go to the hospital because I'm actually hurt.
8. Talk to President Clark
9. Eat an Idaho Spud
10. Go to the Hot Springs

1. Visit 6 of the 7 continents (3 down).
2. Serve a humanitarian mission OR teach abroad (someday, somewhere)
3. Get something published (like, PUBLISHED published)
4. Live by myself OR go on an extended trip by myself.
5. Go to a friggin concert! (that I want to go to)
6. Learn the guitar/piano
7. Skydive and bungee jump
8. Kiss a stranger (eh? ehe?)
9. Cut my hair super short.
10. Skinny dip (suckas!)
11. See the Northern lights
12. Visit the Library of Congress
13. Go to Fashion Week in Paris, LA, and NY
14. Go to Sundance, Venice, and Cannes Film Festivals
15. Oh yeah, and get married and have kids and stuff...

That's it, for now...

In other news, last weekend was the tops.

Silos, Kentucky Derby, the fort, 4:30 am, Jimmy Johns, Dr. Who, "Well....yeah."

Goodness gracious :)

Saturday, April 30, 2011

25 Things:

Hey, hey guys, remember that time? on Facebook? when everyone posted 25 thing about themselves? Well I'm gonna do it.

1. I've had five best friends over the course of my life- two that I would consider my best, best friends.

2. I used to be deathly afraid of spiders, now I'm only afraid of spiders if they're in someone else's house. I don't know why.

3. I used to be a high school theater critic.

4. My hair is 22 inches long.

5. When I was born I had 2 inches of jet black hair, then I was a blonde until the age of 6.

6. I have the entire "Ice, Ice Baby" rap memorized.

7. I once drove for 11 hours straight across the country.

8. The worst physical pain I've ever experienced was the ear infection I had in high school. To this day, if I think about the pain, I shudder.

9. If you poke me in the ribs, I will spaz out for probably the next 10 minutes. It's ridiculous, and embarrassing, and I wish I didn't do it, but there it is.

10. The first music video I remember seeing was The Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" on Pop Up Video.

11. My favorite food is bananas. are bananas? is the banana?

12. My eyes change from blue to grey to green.

13. I once had a dream that a man challenged me to a duel, then shot me in the leg. When I went home to tell my mom about the duel, my backyard was a safari and I caught my mom making out with Beetlejuice.

14. Once I met David Sedaris. He said I "bedazzled" him.

15. The one thing that never, ever fails to make me laugh is seeing people trip and fall down.

16. I got a black eye in the 8th grade that chipped a piece of bone off of my cheekbone.

17. I sold my first piece of artwork in the 4th grade.

18. I love to make people laugh. I don't mean that in the sense that that makes me a good person or something. It's like an addiction.

19. Much like my addiction to carbonated beverages.

20. I'm most happiest when I'm writing, drawing, driving, walking, or running.

21. I have five siblings. I love all of them, and I miss all of them very much.

22. I love collarbones.

23. I'm a sucker for scruff, a sense of humor, creativity, and intelligence. Have any of those, and I probably already have a crush on you.

24. I can't go a day without talking in an accent.

25. I've never had a fast food hamburger. I'm allowed to have my first one on my honeymoon.

There it is.