Sunday, October 23, 2011


You would think that a 22 year old girl would be content with living in Los Angeles, one of the coolest cities in the entire world, for longer than 3 months. But these past few weeks I've been feeling myself become more and more restless. January is coming up, which means that I

a) need a job
b) need an internship with a job at the end
c) need something that I'm passionate about to the point where I don't care whether or not I'm making money
d) need to leave the United States (to hide from debts/explore)
e) need to decide whether or not to go on a mission
e) need to marry a rich guy

I figure I have a good month or month and a half to really start thinking seriously about what I want to be doing come 2012. The thing is every opportunity is starting to feel like a burden now. I feel like it's perpetually Friday night, and there are a million different things I could do, but I'm so exhausted with all of my options that I stay home and pay bills because it's what I know I should be doing.

So, for now, here are my options:

1. Stay in Los Angeles.
I love this city, but the more I think about living here permanently, the more exhausted I become. There are only a few scenarios that involve me staying in Los Angeles, but it could still happen. There's a lot of this city I have yet to experience, and I'd hate to leave it before I'd gotten a chance to use it up and spit it back out.

2. Move to New York.
As much as I love California (and I do love it), I miss the East Coast. There are a few things keeping me from moving there, though, like the fact that physically moving to New York with be the biggest pain in the butt in the world. However, there are a lot of cool jobs I've been researching there, one in particular with Tribeca Films (the company with the perfect combination of education and film).

3. Move to San Francisco.
I don't know why San Francisco keeps popping in my head, but whenever I think about moving there, I like it.

3. Move outside the US.
I've been wanting to teach abroad for a long, long time. Finding the right time to go has always been difficult, but I think it would be a nice change of pace while I'm young, unattached, and stupid.

4. Go on a mission.
I told myself that I would finish college before considering a mission, and now that I have, there's really nothing stopping me. I wouldn't hesitate to go on a mission if I felt it's what I was meant to do, but I've never really gotten a 'yes' or a 'no' either way. And the last thing I want to do is go on one just because I have no other plans or because everyone else is going on one.

5. Teach for America.
This one was inspired by volunteering at 826LA. There's really no downside to doing it, other than I don't want to be one of those teachers that wants to teach but drives home crying every night because they can't hack it. The more I hear about it, though, and the more I think about teaching in general, the more I come around to the idea. I started the application- we'll see what happens after I submit it.

6. Nomad.
This is the plan where I change my name and run around the world for a few years until the government forgets I exist, then I return to the United States a completely changed person with their life figured out and a really cool haircut.

Things I don't want to do:

1. Move home. This isn't even a last resort. It can't happen.
2. Lose momentum. It's one of the biggest things I have going for me right now. As long as I keep moving forward, I'll be fine.
3. Make the wrong decision. This is completely fear-based. And I know that right now there really is no such thing, but it's still scary.
4. Settle. This one's self explanatory
5. Make decisions based on other people.

That's about it. I'll update with things that have happened later.

Actually, note to self: update on my trip to Rexburg.

That's all I got.