Letters.

Dear Social Network,

I've watched you about 100 times, and I will watch you 100 more times…in the next month.

Dear Diet Coke,

I know that as an American I should love you, but Pepsi's just so much better.

Dear Jason Segel,

My friend stayed the night at your house and told me how much of a d-bag you are, but I can't help but love you. Don't screw it up.

P.S. I did NOT drive by your house on December 22, 2011. It may have looked like me, but it wasn't, okay?!

Dear Lark and Mary Alice,

You're the best sisters I could've asked for. You're both nuts, and I love you very, very much.

Dear Growing Up,

I don't know how I'm going to deal with you. The only solution I can come up with is going to Europe and moving every two years to avoid making any sort of grown-up commitments.

Dear College Degree,

Thanks for being you.

Dear Hair,

I want to keep you long, but you're making it so hard.

Dear Ryan Gosling,

You're a really, really cool guy. I swear I don't sit and drool over your pictures like everyone else, I just really respect your work. I promise. Seriously.

Dear Reading,

I'll get back to you, I promise.

Dear Face,

I get it. You're super sensitive. I feel like I'm your boyfriend and you blow up at everything I say or do. Cool it.

Dear Dan Auerbach,

Don't ever change.

Dear People Who Post "Dear ____" Letters As Your Facebook Statuses,

I don't know why, but you drive me insane.

Dear Cynics of the World,

Unless you're Woody Allen, it's really not attractive. You can trust cuteness, puppies/babies aren't evil, and not everyone is out to get you. Be coo.

Dear Future Mission Companions,

I'm excited to meet you. Please be patient with me.

Dear Future Mission Teachees,

I'm excited to meet you. Please be patient with me.

Dear How I Met Your Mother,

You may not be the best show on television, but dangit I love you.

Dear Ryan Gosling,

I feel like you didn't believe me before when I said I just respect your work, but I was being serious. You're really good at what you do, and that's it.

Dear Rings on my Fingers,

I've owned you for roughly three years now. Thanks for not getting lost.

Dear Rooney Mara,

You were pretty great in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Pretty, pretty great.

Dear 17 Year Old Journal-Writing Annalee,

No, I should not, nor should anybody else, "be pretty jealous" of anything you're writing about.

Dear GOP Candidates,

Solution: MARIOKART TOURNAMENT

Dear Summer of 2012,

There are so many great movies coming out during you, I can't begin to describe how excited I am to see them all.

Dear Nutella,

I think I might be allergic to you?

Dear World,

Be good. Do good things. And let's start wearing more sunscreen, kay?

Dear Annalee of 2012,

This year is gonna be full of mistakes, uncomfortable situations, rejection, and growing up. Man up, pray a lot, and love everyone and everything, all the time. Be perfect in the things you can be perfect in, and learn from everything else. When all else fails, remember that one day robots will take over the world, and nothing you encounter this year will be as bad as that. So, go get em, tiger!