Loss Ann-Jealous, Cal if or knee ya

So this past week we (Me, Caitie Metts, Eva Douglas, and Jeff White) all took a roadtrip from Rexburg, Idaho, to Los Angeles, California. It was one of the best roadtrips I've ever taken. I don't know if it was because it was to California or the fact that I was with three of my favorite people in the world, but it was just what I needed before this new semester started. I won't go into too much detail about it, but here are some of the highlights:

-The drive: There was a lot of talking, a lot of music, a lot of podcasting, and a lot of sleeping. The drive down and the drive back were pretty long. I don't know how Jeff didn't fall asleep or go crazy. The man has stamina. I also forgot how beautiful it is, particularly down in the deserts and canyons near California and Arizona. Being able to see the sky for miles is something I'll never get tired of after living on the east coast for so long.

-Glendora: I didn't think places like Glendora existed; it's pretty perfect. I was actually kind of jealous of Jeff's childhood. It's small, but you don't feel like you're in a small town, and it's got the perfect balance of nature and culture. Jeff had stories about pretty much every part of it, some about pranks he and Lars played, some about its history. Cool stuff.

-Los Angeles: We went to Los Angeles to hang out with Leanne and stay at her place. I forgot how massive and confusing Los Angeles is. It always feels the same as the first time I went there- intimidating and exciting at the same time. We walked around the Grove for a bit, got Brazilian barbecue for dinner, saw Limitless, saw a mag-nificent mural in Abercrombie and Fitch, etc. After all that we went to Leanne's to sleep. Leanne and I caught up on everything in our lives, which took until 3 am. It really felt like we were back in high school having a sleepover.

-Santa Monica: Sunburned. Pier. Freak show. Sun. That's all I got.

-Venice Beach: Pot. Pizza. Sunset.Walking. Bookstore.

-Huntington Beach: Bonfire. Veggie hotdogs. "WHAT?". Pazookie.

Other than that, there are just random 'adventures:'

-24 hour Donut Man

-In n' Out

-Meeting the White family- Get Your Lardon, Dr. Who

-Baking- 3 cakes, 1 pan of brownies, 1 batch of cookies. Jeff's whipped creams would be nothing without my cakes.

-Disneyland- I'll never get tired of Disneyland. We got in for free thanks to Jeff's friend Andrea (thank you, thank you, thank you). We ate good food, went on tons of rides ("MA'AM?"), Jeff ripped my pinky up, Fantasmic, searching for funnel cake, princess Coronation ceremony.

-Vegas- I saw Ashley! After almost a year, we were reunited at Chipotle

-Caleb White- So we adopted Caleb, Jeff's brother, into our little group. I love that kid.

-Reading in the park

-Good Will. Sooo much.

-Angel's game.

-Wal Mart

-Jeff's grandma's house: Aquanet and mattresses.

-Forgetting things: my laptop, Jeff's suitcase, me...

-Pasadena- I got to see where I used to hang out while I was nannying forever ago. It was like one big deja vu. I love that place. I can't wait to live near it.

-La Torteca

-So much pizza.

-Mama Cozza's!

-Night stuff in Glendora

-Overnight in Salt Lake at grandma's

-Morning runs and fresh made orange juice in Glendora

-Babe and Thai food.

That's all the big stuff I can think of.

Anyways, it was a great trip. Perfect way to start my last semester. SPEAKING OF WHICH, it's my last semester. How bout that.

Later.

Winter 2011

I haven't updated this thing in forever. I've been terrible about recording my life on things other than napkins and receipts.

Anyways, I want to give a quick run-down of the semester, even if it's just for my own memory.

So here it goes, things I liked, loved, and mildly disliked about this semester:

Like: Northgate Apartments.

After living in Snowed Inn for a semester, and being mildly depressed the whole time, Northgate is like heaven on Earth. I love everything about it: the room, the fact that Caitie and I pushed our beds together, our laundry room, our three couches in the living room, the stairs (where we've had at least 32 DTRs), the gym (which is about 200 feet from our apartment door), the theater. And that's not even going into the roommates or the ward.

Love: Last Poet Standing

I had my doubts about this competition. I thought it was going to be a group of 30 English majors listening to weird poetry in a classroom every week. I wasn't even going to enter until Matt Montoya told me to. After reading my poem the first week, I was addicted. Having people respond to stuff I'd written really meant a lot, and I met so many incredibly cool, talented people. Easily the best thing I did all semester.

Dislike: History 120

A class taught entirely by students reading powerpoints. I once counted how many words my teacher spoke in a class period: 134. No exaggeration.

Like: Books.

By far my favorite book this semester was Just Kids by Patti Smith. It's a memoir chronicling her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe before he died of AIDS. I'd only ever heard Patti Smith's name in reference to the birth of punk music; I had no idea she wrote, or wrote well. There's nothing particularly fantastic about the story, but she's so genuine in her writing. Her relationship with Robert is really captivating. There's definitely a lot there. Reading it made me want to move to New York and listen to old records all day. I definitely want to read more of her stuff.

"When we got to the part where we had to improvise an argument in a poetic language, I got cold feet. "I can't do this," I said. "I don't know what to say."
"Say anything," he said. "You can't make a mistake when you improvise."
"What if I mess it up? What if I screw up the rhythm?"
"You can't," he said. "It's like drumming. If you miss a beat, you create another."
In this simple exchange, Sam taught me the secret of improvisation, one that I have accessed my whole life."

Right now I'm reading Salvador by Joan Didion. I'm about 36 pages into it and it's already pretty intense. Joan Didion's always been one of my favorite authors; everything I've read by her has such a different feel to it, and this one's no exception.

Love: People

I've made a lot of friends this semester, which I wasn't expecting. I was pretty content with my current circle of friends at the beginning of the semester. But, I've felt myself come out of my shell this semester. I don't know what did it exactly, but I've become much more comfortable with reaching out of my comfort zone. I've become friends with so many insane, talented, insanely talented people, and solidified friendships I'd already had. Some of these people I won't see again for a long, long time, so here's my two cents for each of you 'leaving' kids:

-Jill Fleming: I can't believe we'd never hung out before now. You are the sister of my soul, and I'll miss you terribly.

-Mallorie Lamb: The first time I saw you, I thought you were way too cool for me...and that's still pretty true. You're one of the sweetest people I know, and I know you'll make an amazing missionary.

-Garrett Sherwood: You're one crazy S.O.B

-Jeannette Snyder: Ever since I heard you read "If I Did Ecstasy," I knew I had to meet you. You didn't disappoint.

-Amada Hatton: Where the heck did you come from?! I love your poetry and I love you. Rhyme Schemers forever.

Dislike: Being sick.

About three weeks into the semester, I got super sick with the flu. I haven't been that sick since high school. This one is a cross between like and dislike, actually. I really like the feeling of being sick sometimes; there's something about knowing that your body is doing something, even if it's trying to recover from being sick. I spent three days wrapped in blankets, sweating, shivering, sleeping, sometimes crying, and another two days in a light-headed daze. Funny story, actually, I went to see Tron with my friends, Jeff and Tom, on a day when I thought I was completely better. Halfway through the movie, I started feeling really light-headed and nauseous. I walked out of the movie feeling like I was high, and I'm sure that I was acting like a weirdo the entire time. The cool part, though, was finding out how nice my friends are. Beside the people that treated me like I had the friggin plague, there were some really nice people looking out for me.

Like: NULC

Lots of good stories from this trip. First of all, it was cool just to be accepted. I got to read a story I hadn't even touched since about January. It's a story that's sort of become my baby, so it was nice to let it see some daylight again. Other than that, getting to walk around Ogden was probably my favorite part of the trip. It was absolutely gorgeous the entire time. We got to shop for old books, eat awesome pizza, meet interesting (sometimes drunk) people, listen to interesting writing, and sleep in the most comfortable beds in the world. Getting to hang out with everyone from BYU-Idaho was great too. I don't think we cold've had a better group.

Love: Deep Love

One of the coolest things I've ever seen; everything about it was absolutely incredible. It's come a long way from when I saw it at Sammy's last year. It was such a good night in general. The show was awesome, Lars Lindstrom came up from California (which was awesome), the after-party at Millhollow was awesome, annnnnd the show was awesome. Again.

Dislike:

Decisions. I've been kind of stupid when it comes to making those this semester, especially when it comes to relationships and such. Just thinking about it makes me feel like a stupid little girl. Anyways, I've had a hard time letting go of some things. BUT, it's gotten much better in the past couple of weeks. So, this is another mix between like and dislike, but in the beginning of the semester it was definitely a dislike.

Like: Growing up.

That sounds stupid, but it's true. I think I've done a lot of that this semester. There haven't been any humongous changes, but I'm starting to be less obviously stupid and immature about some things. I've done a lot of prioritizing, and I think I've figured out the direction I want my life to go in, at least for the time being. Knowing that I'll be out of college and working in the next five months is so crazy. I never thought I would actually graduate from college. I could picture myself as a thirty, forty year old women easily, but I never actually picture myself as a college graduate. Does that make sense? Anyways, whether or not I want it to happen, it will, so I might as well be excited about it. Am I right? AM I RIGHT?

Those are some of the bigger highlights. The rest are stashed in a journal somewhere.

It's been a good semester. Top notch. If this semester had a facebook page, I would probably like it.

Stuff to look forward to next semester:

-Three classes. I only have to take three classes. All of them are classes I want to take.

-TAing. I get to be a TA for Brother Griffin, Brother Lawrence, and Brother Gentry.

-Summer!

-Graduation. This one's a tough one. I used to hate the idea of graduating and leaving everyone/thing, but after seeing convocation last night, and seeing some of my friends graduate, I'm excited. I'm going straight from Idaho to California and TAKING THE WORLD BY STORM.

I don't want to write anymore, so I'm gonna stop.

Update: complete.

S'good

I've been wanting to see this movie for a while. I've always liked Banksy's artwork, but I had no idea he was that involved with Thierry Guetta (Mr. Brainwash), or that Guetta was even in the movie. The whole story is pretty interesting, and the movie's got a lot of great shots in it. I highly recommend it.

Trophy Case

So, I was talking to my dad the other day over the phone, and we were talking about his contributions to the home decor. All the kids have portraits on the walls, works of art on the fridge, etc, but my dad doesn't have anything up on the walls except his 'Operation Iraqi Freedom' flag, which he got from his second tour.

We got to talking and came to the conclusion that we should get him a Rehab Trophy Case. It would hold everything he's earned from his three stints in rehab- punctuality awards, finger-paints from art therapy, pictures of him and his Scrabble buddies, etc.

I'm writing this down for two reasons- one, because I never knew when my dad going to rehab was going to become funny, or if it was every going to become funny. The fact that we can joke about it is a load off my mind.

The second reason if I'm thinking of writing a story about it. I don't know why, but I think it's an interesting idea.

Anyways, there it is. Take this as a memo to myself.

There was something else I wanted to write down so I'd remember it, but I can't remember what it is...

"You're one shirt away from Carlton, mofo."

To write.

This past October marks the one year anniversary of my becoming an english major. It's been the best decision of my entire college career, switching from political science to english. I love political science. I love learning about political theory and international diplomacy, but I could never ever be one of those people who sold their first-born to work on a political campaign, or have crushes on Newt Gengrich. Now, I don't have to.

A couple weeks ago, I finished reading The Writing Life by Annie Dillard. I liked the book as a whole, but I was a bit disappointed. I was expecting to walk away from it wanting to change the world with my writing, but I didn't. Instead, her book made me look at why I want to write.

I don't consider myself a writer, per se. I feel like calling myself a writer would be like someone taking an acting class and calling themselves a thespian. I like to write, and I know I'm not terrible at it, but I don't feel worthy of calling myself a writer. At best, I'm an amateur, aspiring writer.

I like to write for the same reasons everyone else like to write. I like forming images and concepts for other people to enjoy. I like using language and techniques that I've never used before. I like pushing my mind's envelope, etc.

Anyways, and I'm only just now realizing this, I like writing because I can't talk.

For a long time now, I've had this verbal dyslexia type of a thing going on. I trip over words all the time. It's the most frustrating thing in the world sometimes. I know exactly what I want to say in my head, but getting it out of my mouth never works out the way I want it to. I don't have to worry about any of that when I'm writing, though. I can manipulate words to my heart's desire, and people know exactly what I mean. It's a huge release, actually, not worrying about how my mouth will contort something.

Anywho, there it is. I figured it out.

Scott Farkus

A memory that never fails to make me laugh...

I was asked the other day what my favorite memory of all time is. I don't have a favorite memory that I can recall, but there is one that never, ever, ever fails to make me laugh out loud when I think about it.

It involves my little sister, Mary Alice. Mary Alice is one of my favorite people in the world, which makes the memory inherently perfect. Anyways, Mary Alice and I decided to bake cookies to deliver to our old Bishop's house. He's an old family friend, and one of the biggest influences on my young adult life. Not important. So we baked the cookies and went to deliver them to his family's house. We'd done this a million times before so we'd got this thing down to a science. We drive down his driveway, which he shares with three other houses so it's rather long, she gets out of the car, runs to the door, drops the cookies on the porch, knocks on the door, runs back to the car, and I drive in reverse out of the driveway.

On this particular day, though, everything was covered in ice, the way Virginia always is in early January. The roads were alright, but the sidewalks were covered in a half-inch of ice. Mary Alice got out of our car and walked up to the door with the cookies. On her way back, she went from walking to a slight jog. She was 10 feet away from the car when she slipped and fell on her back. From where I was sitting in the driver's seat, all I saw was her running...and then nothing. I let out the loudest, most unabashed laugh I've ever heard leave my mouth, and didn't stop laughing until probably an hour later. The image of her slipping and falling is one of the greatest things taking up residence in my head. It's the perfect marriage of heart-warming, slap-stick, irreverent, and nostalgic.

A close second is this one time a girl in the Hart locker room tried to jump sideways from the left side of a bench to the right. Her right foot went up, almost over the bench, when it got caught and she fell on her face. On. her face. My reaction was something like, "HA HaaaaOh my gosh are you okay?!"

There's something about people falling over in general. It's so rudimentary. It's man against gravity, and man loses. There's nothing that man will ever be able to do or invent to conquer the inevitability of falling once or twice. It's gonna happen. The have no control over their facial expression of what their limbs do. It's all reflex. It's beautiful.

Holy Crap

It's been forever since I've updated this thing, so I'll just give highlights.

I'm 21. Legal as legal can be. I still feel like I'm 19, though.

This is the weirdest semester ever. For some reason it's just felt incredibly off and I don't know why.

Caitie finally got back from Iceland.

I got three jobs- a tutor with the Reading Center, a Teacher's Assistant, and an Intern with the Gersh Agency (sort of).

I've made up my mind. Summer 2011 will be spent in either New York City or Los Angeles doing some sort of internship.

Dad' s been in Alabama sine October and he's finally back home!

Isaac puts his mission papers in in a month.

I learned how to torrent. Duuuuuuuude.

I sprained my toe back in September. I was biking back home and I went down a steep hill toward a bridge. I couldn't see very well and I was going pretty fast. Anyways, I thought I was going to run into the bridge's railing and I over corrected in the opposite direction, actually hitting the railing. I flipped off my bike and landed on my entire left side. I thought my arm was broken at first, and my leg had already started to bruise all up and down my calves. I went to the E.R feeling like a pansy since nothing was actually broken. Anyways, they fit me for a boot and I had to walk around with it for the first week of school or so.

Went to L.A to visit Leanne. I forgot how much I love that city. We went to Venice, tons of good restaurants and shopping. Pretty perfect.

I discovered Dan Auerbach. His voice is the sexiest, raspiest, trashiest, most perfect thing out there.

Writing Retreat 2010- Three days of sitting in a cabin at the base of the Tetons, writing, with a couple of breaks for ghost stories, night-hikes, other hikes, eating, teachers playing guitar and doing magic tricks.

Reading Center vs. Writing Center kickball games.

I love grading.

Also, I hate grading.

My hair is 19 inches long from head to tip.

I MET DAVID SEDARIS. I went to his book signing in Salt Lake and got to speak to the man.

Went to Park City with the Metts clan for Thanksgiving.

I don't really feel like writing anymore.