To write.

This past October marks the one year anniversary of my becoming an english major. It's been the best decision of my entire college career, switching from political science to english. I love political science. I love learning about political theory and international diplomacy, but I could never ever be one of those people who sold their first-born to work on a political campaign, or have crushes on Newt Gengrich. Now, I don't have to.

A couple weeks ago, I finished reading The Writing Life by Annie Dillard. I liked the book as a whole, but I was a bit disappointed. I was expecting to walk away from it wanting to change the world with my writing, but I didn't. Instead, her book made me look at why I want to write.

I don't consider myself a writer, per se. I feel like calling myself a writer would be like someone taking an acting class and calling themselves a thespian. I like to write, and I know I'm not terrible at it, but I don't feel worthy of calling myself a writer. At best, I'm an amateur, aspiring writer.

I like to write for the same reasons everyone else like to write. I like forming images and concepts for other people to enjoy. I like using language and techniques that I've never used before. I like pushing my mind's envelope, etc.

Anyways, and I'm only just now realizing this, I like writing because I can't talk.

For a long time now, I've had this verbal dyslexia type of a thing going on. I trip over words all the time. It's the most frustrating thing in the world sometimes. I know exactly what I want to say in my head, but getting it out of my mouth never works out the way I want it to. I don't have to worry about any of that when I'm writing, though. I can manipulate words to my heart's desire, and people know exactly what I mean. It's a huge release, actually, not worrying about how my mouth will contort something.

Anywho, there it is. I figured it out.